I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
