Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
