i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize