I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
