Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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