I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
