What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
