Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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