It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me help you realize you are a moron
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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