she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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