Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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