girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
