Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
