It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Blood and glitter go together right?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Floor bacon is actually really good
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
