I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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