Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
