Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
