My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize