you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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