he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I have already put on my inside pants.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
