what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
