we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
farters have to be the big spoon...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
