Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
