yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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