hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
