i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
