what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
