chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
