Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
