So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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