Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
