she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize