jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
