What did we do last night that was yellow?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize