it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
