I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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