she looked like the bat from fern gully.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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