i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
