yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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