ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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