Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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