i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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