Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You are the jesus of drinking
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
