talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
