so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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