Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Terrible idea I love it
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
