I love black thongs
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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