Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
