DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Drunk is a universal language darling
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
