I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
