i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
