[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
