dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
