Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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