i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
