Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
