shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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