Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We smell like vodka and hangover
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