he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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