...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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