i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
