Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She tied me up with her honor cords...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
