I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
