I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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